This morning around 4 am I woke up from this dream, grabbed my phone, and typed up a few key words to remind me in the morning, then went back to sleep. It still seems as weird and bittersweet now as it was then.
In my dream, I was me as I am now. I went to the same university I do now, was the same age I am now, was dating Michael, etc. Except that I was dead. I wasnt a ghost, though. Everyone could see me, I could touch things normally, interact with people normally, etc. There was nothing about me that seemed anything different from normal alive me.
But for some reason it all hit me then, even though I had known it before; it just finally hit home that things that alive people could do might not be ready for me. I remember wondering if I would be able to get married or have kids.
I don’t think anybody knew except me because it felt like a secret.
Then one day in an hallway at uni, it hit me and I was bawling. And for some reason this row of headstones was in this hallway / outside walkway. One of my professors (looked like this high school teacher that visits my work regularly) was there.
I took out some sticky notes and wrote “hello.” on one and stuck it on the wall above my headstone. He noticed, looked at the name, seemed kinda suprised it had my name, asked who it was and I said
I looked down at it then and the death date carved in was November 11, 2003, the same day that my mom died.
Then I woke up.